The case for a lapel pin as a groomsman's gift

There is a category of wedding gift that exists to be handed over rather than to be used: the engraved flask, the branded bottle opener, the cufflink box for a man with no french cuffs. They are given warmly, just to end up in a drawer as a forever home.

A lapel pin avoids this by being worn on the day itself, and as many times as a suit is worn.

The lapel pin is worn twice

Once on the morning of the wedding, in the photographs, and on every jacket in the line-up. Then again, unpredictably, for years: at Church, at work, at a funeral, at the next wedding. A groomsman's gift that reappears on a lapel in five years' time is doing something a decanter cannot.

What to look for

Three dimensions. A flat enamel badge photographs like a sticker. A die-cast piece catches light along its edges, which is what makes it read at conversational distance and in a photograph taken from eight feet away.

A finish that matches the party. Pewter or a nickel finish sits with grey and navy morning dress and with a silver watch. Antique gold sits with brown, with tweed, and with warmer autumn palettes. Pick against the suits, not against the flowers.

Something with a reason behind it. An anchor for a group of friends who sail. An acorn for a family. A crest, if there is one. The pin does not have to explain itself to anyone else, but it should mean something to the men wearing it, because that's how it turns from a novelty to an heirloom.

How many, and how early

Order two more than you need. Somebody will lose one between the rehearsal dinner and the ceremony, and a few extra dollars is worth more than an evening of stress.

For anything off the shelf, two weeks is plenty. For a custom design with your own crest or a date on the back, allow six to eight weeks from the day the artwork is approved, and start the conversation a month before that. Weddings are the one occasion where a delay is not an inconvenience.

What it costs

Fifteen to twenty-five dollars a man, for something that is worn in the photographs and kept afterwards. Set against a groomsman's gift budget it is at the low end, which is a slightly awkward thing to say out loud and also the reason it is a good idea.